Successful relationships occur when two people are willing to sort through conflict, seek understanding, enjoy one another company, otherwise known as their compatibility.
While pop culture often relates compatibility to subjects such as zodiac signs, love languages, or even enneagram types to explain how different personality types are compatible. However, any two personality types can be compatible with each other, given that the individuals are desire to be and willing to do the work.
The enneagram can be a useful tool for discovering who you may naturally be more compatible with and even how to become more compatible with the one you love.
Because relationships are built on trust, commitment, and grace, the enneagram can be a helpful resource for identifying areas of compatibility and assess areas of stress.
Learn more about the different Enneagram personality types and their compatibility below!
Enneagram Compatibility Explained
We are drawn to compatibility tests; we want to find out the type of person we may get along with the best.
Within the Enneagram, nine different personalities are grouped into three larger sections. The first section, the Instinctive or Gut Center, is home to Type 1s, 9s, and 8s (Reformers, Peacemakers, and Challengers, respectively).
The Feeling or Heart Center consists of Type 2s, 3s, and 4s (Helpers, Achievers, and Individualists, respectively). The final section, the Thinking or Head Center, contains types: Type 5 (Investigators), Type 6 (Loyalists), Type 7 (Enthusiasts).
As the popularity of the enneagram grows, some have sought to use it as a tool for measuring the compatibility between individuals.
While the Enneagram Institute does offer a chart called “The Enneagram Type Combinations,” it is not meant to be used to explain compatibility. The Enneagram Combinations chart merely explains how different type combinations could get along together relationally. This chart is a tool to help explain possible dynamics that could exist based on each other’s personality types.
How will each type react to the other when conflict arises in a relationship (which it undoubtedly will)? What combinations of types are best suited to handling these conflicts? In other words, which combinations are most compatible?
That being said, let’s review how different enneagram types with others relationally.
Enneagram 1 Compatibility
Characteristics Of The Reformer Within Relationships
Enneagram Type 1’s are known as The Reformer are noted to be rational individuals who are constantly looking for ways to improve themselves and their surroundings. They are also regarded as perfectionists.
These qualities translate into their relationships. Reformers are honest with their partners and thoughtful of their needs. However, type ones can also feel as though they are always right. Because they are honest with their partners, this may come across as being arrogant.
Reformers can also be insecure about themselves and their relationships.
Type Ones pair well with others who are goal-driven. A Type One and Type Three can be very compatible; however, this relationship combination could face a struggle when dealing with their competitive natures.
Ones can struggle with others who have highly different worldviews. While the other types may overlook the Reformer’s perspective without judgment, reformers become critical and judgemental of their partners.
Type Ones could experience intensified difficulty with Type Fives. When things go wrong in this relationship, problems can remain unsolved for a long time because both types hold so strongly to their beliefs.
Enneagram 2 Compatibility
Characteristics Of The Helper Within Relationships
Enneagram two’s possess many characteristics that can help make relationships successful. These qualities include genuinely caring for others and generosity.
Because Type Twos have a deep concern for taking care of others, this translates to their relationship. Whoever they are in a relationship with will be well cared for. Unfortunately, Helpers tend to give until they wear themselves out. Type Twos are selfless individuals; however, they can seek recognition, especially from their partners, and without it, they can become resentful if unaware. Type Twos can be easily manipulated to pursue appreciation and may find themselves in a toxic relationship.
The pairing of Type Two and Type Three is regarded highly by the Enneagram Institute.
Twos and threes can work together well in a team. So long as there is respect and understanding in Type Twos’ relationships, they will succeed.
Enneagram 3 Compatibility
Characteristics Of The Achiever Within Relationships
Enneagram three’s are extremely driven individuals who are focused on their accomplishments. They also genuinely care about others. While this occasionally means they put all their effort into their relationships, it also means that other tasks may distract them from it. When situations change, Achievers can easily adapt to their new environment.
Relationships that are comprised of two Type Threes are highly goal-oriented. Both partners encourage each other to chase their dreams and to achieve their collective goals. While emotions do not play a large role in their relationship, this is considered a highly compatible combination.
Threes can be highly compatible with Fives. Enneagram Institute said the following about this type of combination, “This can be a ‘brilliant couple–sharp, successful, deeply competent, and well respected.”
The highest energy pairing is comprised of threes and sevens. This couple pairing will be very outgoing and adventurous.
Enneagram 4 Compatibility
Characteristics Of The Individualist Within Relationships
Enneagram fours are self-sufficient individuals who are often regarded as being self-absorbed. They are highly attuned to their emotions and are expressive by nature.
Individualists do not shy away from their feelings. For this reason, they are quick to accept happy relationships. However, Individualists also have insecure characteristics that cause them to compare their relationship with a perfect image. This constant comparison leads to feelings of being misunderstood and alone.
Couples containing a Type Four have the potential to be both highly creative as well as highly volatile. Fours understanding of emotions makes them caring individuals; however, they struggle in times of stress.
Enneagram 5 Compatibility
Characteristics Of The Observer Within Relationships
Enneagram Fives are fairly isolated people who are curious about the world and those around them. Though more secretive than other Types, they are also very innovative.
In relationships, Observers/Investigators have excellent listening skills and are non-reactive. This makes them an excellent match for outspoken individuals. Their biggest fault in relationships is that they build walls to protect themselves. They may also treat their partner as less competent at times.
A type five and type six can build strong relational connections. When an Investigator and a Loyalist are in a relationship, they support each other’s goals and interests. Additionally, they can handle the stress and changes in life.
While Fives and Eights are compatible, they have the potential not to be. In times of stress or discontent, Type Fives close down and become less emotionally involved. Meanwhile, Type Eights are reactionary and can become more aggressive. This could create a toxic relationship.
Like all relationships, the “push and pull” between two people can be healthy; however, fives need to be aware that those in a relationship with them will probably need more communication than you think that you’re giving, even when you think you have done so.
Enneagram 6 Compatibility
Characteristics Of The Loyalist Within Relationships
Enneagram sixes are characteristically the most committed of the Enneagram types. They do not shy away from a relationship; however, they may feel anxious about the relationship after involvement. Loyalists’ anxiety causes them to be cautious and aware of situations that may arise. While this can be a strength, it is also a weakness. Loyalists may overthink their relationship, which could potentially lead to its demise.
Type Sixes could struggle relationally with those who are risk-takers and adventurous. Sixes value security, and quick decisions or lack of planning can be a point of contention.
A Type Six, Type Nine pairing is a highly compatible couple.
They have nearly identical goals in life and can work together to achieve them. The only pitfall with this type of combination is that neither is comfortable speaking their mind. While this lack of communication may damage the relationship, this is generally a successful couple pairing.
Enneagram 7 Compatibility
Characteristics Of The Visionary Within Relationships
Enneagram sevens are the most adventurous and joyful Enneagram type. They are fond of taking risks and do so spontaneously.
In relationships, sevens work to inspire their partners. They may be wary of connection and commitment at first. However, when they do make a connection, they are undoubtedly loyal to their partner.
While type seven and eight pairings are high energy and adventurous, they can turn unhealthy if neither healthily releases their energy.
Type Sevens are less compatible with Type Fives and Sixes. These Enneagram types are opposites of Sevens, and although they are all in the same triad, each of their motivations is very different.
Enneagram 8 Compatibility
Characteristics Of The Challenger Within Relationships
Enneagram eights are headstrong individuals. They prefer to be the leader in all aspects of life (including their relationships). They are self-confident, confrontational, and passionate.
Though Challengers often have a tough exterior, they are emotional on the inside. Because they can be reactionary, they may do well with someone who does not react to their outbursts, specifically Type Fives. Type Eights’ greatest weakness in relationships is that they cannot relinquish control. Additionally, when they feel upset, they are likely to blow up.
Eights are confrontational and, in some ways, connect through conflict. An enneagram eight can struggle with those who handle stress by isolating themselves. As the Eight becomes more unhappy with the situation, they may become more aggressive. If the other type is not comfortable defending themselves, it may turn toxic.
Enneagram 9 Compatibility
Characteristics Of The Peacemaker Within Relationships
Enneagram nines are submissive in relationships. They can be complacent, especially if others are more forthcoming. Their strengths in relationships include their awareness of feelings and their desire to avoid conflict. However, Peacemakers may not disclose their feelings and needs in an attempt to avoid conflict. When dangerous conflict arises, they close themselves off.
A double Nine relationship is quiet and understanding of the other member. Both partners go with the flow and are content with its direction. While this relationship is generally successful, they may struggle if something comes along that is not a part of their routine. Complacency is both their greatest strength and greatest weakness.
Type Nines can also be compatible with Type Sixes. While both have different personalities, they are focused on achieving similar goals and are supportive of each other.
Remember, there is not a perfect enneagram compatibility chart that will describe whether or not you and your partner are good for each other. All relationships will experience stress and difficulties. Compatibility is determined by you and your partner’s desire to overcome the problems you face.
Do you want to take an Enneagram Compatibility Test?
This brief test can help you understand which enneagram type you could build a great relationship with. Keep in mind, all relationships take work, and all enneagram types can build healthy, fulfilling relationships with each other.
The success of your relationship is not dependant upon choosing the right type, rather your willingness to grow together in understanding, mercy, love, and patience.
There are additional resources that can further help you understand how your type and others connect relationally. Are you familiar with Enneagram Stances?
An individual’s stance explains the different strategies each type will use to get what they desire. Stances are a way of describing how each type socially interacts with others.
Learning more about the three stances can help you further explore the compatibility between different enneagram types.
Within the context of any relationship, to experience true joy and fulfillment will require a desire from each person to understand the other and focus more on improving their own weaknesses than those of others. The enneagram is a helpful tool because it helps uncover unhealthy patterns and behaviors with tools to mend these attributes.
Any two types can be compatible if both are willing to be so.